How to remain tactful when you want to scream "You live in squalor, I'll never send my daughter to your home!"?

kitchen chairs 1970 image

Maritimer

How do you tactfully say to a person you considered for child care that their house is too disgusting and messy to send your 9 month old daughter to?

I went last night to meet with a lady who says she looks after children. Once I got there, I couldn't imagine anyone in their right mind sending their kids there. She lives in subsidized housing, so her neighbours would be questionable, for one. When I walked in the house, there was a smell that was a combination of cigarette smoke, sweat, and cat urine. There was an ant trail on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink, food stuck to pots and pans (even though it wasn't right after supper, it was 7:30pm, it should have been cleaned by then), and pizza and other empty food boxes piled up on the countertop and floor. She asked me to excuse the mess because they were "renovating" the kitchen. (?!)

The living room was no better. The carpet was peeling up in the corners, and the floor was covered with pebbles that were tracked in from the entryway, old food bits, and other things that I couldn't identify. The nasty smell I smelled coming in turned out to be the circa 1970's couch and chair. And I'm not talking about a classic piece of furniture, but there was definitely cat pee and smoke all over them.

The sweaty smell I smelled was probably her and her kids. Their hair was greasy and unwashed. She knew I was coming well in advance, so to impress me she chose to wear skinny jeans and a tank top which accentuated her protruding gut. I mean really, if you know someone is coming to meet with you, you clean yourself up a little.

When she asked when she could start, I didn't want to say "ew, gross", but I was vague and said "maybe we could look at her coming here for a day to see how it goes". I had hoped it would buy me some time. I got home and she had already emailed me, asking what day would work, and how she was so excited.

What do I say? How do I say it without coming across as insulting? I had honestly never seen a house in such a state, but she obviously doesn't see a thing wrong with it. She was interviewed with a Home Daycare Agency to see if she could be government approved, and they turned her down. She has no idea why, she can't fathom it!
Not a sweetie: "You shouldn't even have gone there knowing she's been turned down."

Uhhh...how was I supposed to know I'd turn her down because of the home an her hygiene until I went there? I'm not turning her down because I get jollies off of turning people down. You seem to think that.
I know that she was turned down because when I got home, I phoned the Agency in the hopes that they could find a good placement for my daughter (I didn't know it existed until I did more research when I got home). When I called, I mentioned how I went to this home and how bad it was. The director said that she had been there and it was just as bad then, 2 months ago, when she went and declined her application. So no, I didn't call the agency first. I didn't know the agency existed first.
cathrl69: Supper dishes not washed by 7:30 is one thing. It's quite another when it's obviously built up over the course of 7 or 8 meals. One does not have pizza, 3 pots, 2 frying pans, and countless serving utensils with dried, caked on food and say it's "just from tonight's supper". Plus where do you think the ant trails were leading to? Think I'm fussy now?

Answer
I think you just avoid the issue of her dirty home and get in touch saying a relative has offered to look after your daughter for free, you've managed to get her into a nursery/daycare you were on the waiting list for, or you've found someone to look after her closer to your house that would work out better for you. The list of excuses is endless, just pick one and make the call! How disgusting though! If you want to be honest with this woman then don't beat around the bush, take a deep breath and tell her that you feel her house is dirty and therefore an unsafe environment for your little girl - good luck if you go with this option!

I need help answering these questions for this book i'm reading for school. any help?

Jennifer O

I'm reading this novel for school called "taking sides by Gary Soto" & these are the questions i need to answer..
Chapters 1-3
1. What did the principal often do each morning before school?
2. Which sport did Lincoln play?
3. What time of day was it when James and Lincoln finally left basketball practice?
4. Why did Tony owe Lincoln two dollars?
5. How long was basketball practice?
6. How did James meet Monica?
7. Why did Lincoln's mom decide to move?
8. What did Lincoln's mom want him to do when he got home?
9. What was the final score between the A and B teams?
10. What did Lincoln have in common with Monica?
11. How old was Lincoln when his father left?
12. What kind of homework did Monica have to do?

Chapters 4-6
1. Name the items they purchased on the way to the thrift shop.
2. What was the reason for all of the kids being quiet at Tony's house?
3. What event did Lincoln think changed his life?
4. What did Lincoln discover in Vicky's locker?
5. Why didn't Lincoln accept Tony's dime toward the debt he owed?
6. Where did Tony find Lincoln's stolen T.V.?
7. Why wasn't there basketball practice on Fridays?
8. What did Lincoln's dad do for a living?
9. Why didn't Lincoln give the man a dollar?
10. What did Lincoln's mom do her fair share of?
11. At Lincoln's old school, which years had they won the basketball championship?
12. How did Mrs. Contreras cool the boys when they were babies?

Chapters 7-9
1. Why didn't Lincoln think his team would beat his former school by much?
2. What did Lincoln throw at the intruder?
3. What two reasons did Lincoln think that Flaco licked his face?
4. Which basketball game did Lincoln play with Monica?
5. Why couldn't James play his Nintendo very much?
6. Who won the game of HORSE?
7. What had happened when Lincoln tried to teach his former girlfriend how to play basketball?
8. How did Lincoln's knee look the second day?
9. How did Lincoln's mom refer to his friends?
10. What were James's parents eating after church?
11. Who was scraping a chair and walking in the kitchen?
12. How many Torreses did Lincoln have to call before he got a hold of Monica?

Chapters 10-13
1. What was the half-time score?
2. What did Lincoln do in the coach's office?
3. How did Coach Yesutis react to Lincoln's hurt knee?
4. Why was Lincoln unsure if he could take Bukowski?
5. What was Coach Yesutis wearing that made him look like an idiot?
6. How did the coach react when Lincoln mentioned Franklin's win in 1970?
7. What did Tony buy for Lincoln's Christmas present?
8. Who had possession of the ball at the start of the game?
9. What reasons did Lincoln have the morning after the game to feel good?
10. What did Coach Yesutis lecture the team about before their last practice?
11. Who did Lincoln picture himself as while he walked to school?
12. How had Lincoln planned to use the picture of him and Flaco?

If anyone knows some answers please help.. Thank you ( i know it's alot to read but i really need help answering them)

Answer
Or you could just read the book...

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